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August 20, 2007
"Peace Mission 2007" Caption Contest
Some of you ― or perhaps just one of you, I'm not quite sure ― have been on my case for months now to do another caption contest. Well, I'll do you one better. For the first time in global caption contest history, I'm offering readers the chance to think of hilarious captions for two photos! "One photo" caption contests are so old school, don't you think? Why limit yourself to one potentially laughable image when you can double the fun with two?
For those contestants keeping track, the presidential cast of the second photo from left to right is Imomali Rakhmon of Tajikistan (nice blue suit), Kurmanbek Bakiyev of Kyrgyzstan, Hu Jintao of China, Vladimir Putin of Russia, Nursultan Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan (nice dictator sunglasses), and Islam Karimov of Uzbekistan.
Are you still sitting there staring at the screen? Get writing! (Or reading, if you don't know what the heck is going on here.)
Please, indicate clearly whether you are submitting a caption for "A" or "B", and limit yourself to only one caption per comment. Remember, this is a humorous (ha ha funny) caption contest, not a space to vent all the frustration with Central Asian politics you've been storing inside for years and have only learned how to release since finding this awesome blog. (Diatribes and manifestos are still welcome on other posts.)
And no, idiot, this obviously isn't the "official" anything contest... so don't ask. The contest ends at the end of August.
For those of you wondering, the "village" in the banner at the top of this entry was occupied by "terrorists" and "liberated" by 5,000 SCO troops (and tanks and fighter jets and paratroopers) during this week's exercise. Looks like a paintball field to me.
posted August 20, 2007 at 12:11 AM unofficial Xinjiang time | HaoHao This!
Comments
Caption A:
Look at the giggle on those female paratroopers!
Caption B:
We think Borat is creating a diversion with his lime green speedo over here while his asshole neighor, fat wife and hot prostitute sister approach from this area to steal our soldiers' iPods and making loving with our guard dogs. We want to dress up some girls as a virginal Pamela Anderson to try to flush out Borat before his plan can succeed.
Posted by: nanheyangrouchuan at August 20, 2007 01:59 AM
B) "Axis and Allies" catches on in Asia.
Posted by: meg at August 20, 2007 02:27 AM
A) Hu - "Laowai!"
Putin - "Where?"
B) As the leaders of the SCO gather under the hot sun to watch a game of WoW central Asian style, China's president Hu Jintao prays to the gods of harmonious society, development of society and development of technology that his hair dye doesn't run.
Posted by: chinaqanda at August 20, 2007 01:04 PM
(B)
Karimov: Where'd you get those cool sunglasses, Nursultan?
Nazarbayev: Gift from my goomah. Didn't you hear that my people won all 98 seats up for grabs in yesterday's election?
Karimov: Awesome! That happened to me once, too.
That's right, I've entered my own caption contest, and I intend to win. So you'd better step up, punks!
Posted by: michael at August 20, 2007 08:42 PM
A) Hu and Putin: What's that coming over the hill, is it a monster, is it a monsterrrr?
Posted by: chinaqanda at August 21, 2007 10:20 AM
B) "The pole is also to scale. Wait till you see the real thing."
Posted by: Tom at August 22, 2007 02:10 PM
A) No, President Putin, what you see on the lake are not monsters. They are 30-strong teams of Chinese special forces hidden inside black rubber tubes, and their concerted movements make the tube swim over water.
Posted by: m s at August 23, 2007 12:11 AM
(A) Holy Shit Hu! Those are transformers and they're coming this way!
(B) And right here is a sun-dried tomato farm that the bombers are going to use for target practice.
Posted by: ou yang at August 23, 2007 10:31 PM
B) Officer: "China moves 2 units in and liberates eastern Kazakhstan."
Karimov: "Dammit, I wanted to be China this time, they always win at this. 'Great Game' my ass."
Posted by: Jeff at August 24, 2007 02:53 PM
(A)
Putin: What is that glowing light!?
Hu: Those terrorists are reincarnating without government permission, seize them!
(B)
Soldier: ...and this pond is where president Putin will be doing his topless photo shoot.
Posted by: Peter at August 27, 2007 02:00 PM
A: And they’re off! ‘China’ has made a strong start, with ’Putin's Russia’ close behind, and ‘Kazakhstan’ and ‘Uzbekistan’ following. ‘Kyrgyzstan’ is in the back, with ‘Tajikistan’ in the distant back. ‘Russia’ and ‘Kazakhstan’ are in the middle of the field and ‘Tajikistan’ has just passed ‘Kyrgyzstan’. Wait a minute! ‘Uzbekistan’ is coming from Russia's behind fast, passing ‘Russia’, and look at him go! He has passed ‘Russia’ and is now passing ‘China’, and into the lead. They’re coming to the finish line, what an incredible finish! It’s ‘Uzbekistan’ first, ‘China’ second, ‘Russia’ third, ‘Kyrgyzstan’ beats ‘Tajikistan’ who comes in a distant last.
Posted by: Mike at August 28, 2007 12:24 AM
Mike, that's brilliant. My vote (if I had one) goes to you.
Posted by: chinaqanda at August 28, 2007 06:17 PM
B: Putin learns that the Chinese takes seriously the expression "I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole".
Posted by: cph at September 4, 2007 12:32 AM
A.
Putin: Ya see, i'm right... Coca Cola make excellent eye drops.
B. Hu: Stand back Mr Putin, looks like he's hooked a big one!
Posted by: Herbie at September 5, 2007 03:52 PM
a)
Hu: What the hell is that there?
Putin: Holy shit, Bush is going down on Bin Laden!
b)
Here is where we lost our bong sir.
Posted by: Geek, as x->inf, Geek->nerd at September 15, 2007 04:13 AM
A) Hu: I still don't see it
Putin: I'm telling you that cloud behind theat tank with the flag looks jusrt like Britney Spears!
B) That speck right here gentlemen is what is left of US credibility in the world.
Posted by: Fredrick Schwartz at September 17, 2007 04:43 AM
A)
Hu: I love being leader. Did you check out the one in the white Bikini?
Putin: Ja, is good. Standing only three feet away makes her tits look huge.
B)
Hu: I much preferred the Binoculars.
Putin: Dis is much more fun on Playstation.
Posted by: Bai Xin at November 2, 2007 12:50 PM
A Do you think they will sign the peace treaty?
B Yeh, they're planning on using this place for the 2010 downhill skiing competitions.
Posted by: David Slade at January 29, 2008 10:42 AM